Bloody women drivers!
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a woman in a spanking Porsche doing 85 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the sausage & egg soda out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the mug of tea between my legs, splashed, and burned my balls! Ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.
Bloody women drivers!
(For Deminy's terrible trip.)
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